Beru's Haven

Trying to live as normal a life while knowing I have cancer...

Sunday, March 05, 2006

I'm out of bed and dressed...

what more do you want? hehehe... okay... well, I even have my hat on... and then I remembered that my keys are still in the trunk of my father's car- not that the house key is on them anyway- Mary still has it. The house key I have, with my extra set of car keys, doesn't really work- so I'm stuck at home until Otter and Aidan return from wherever they went.
I would think they went to church, but it's getting kind of late to be returning from that. I don't know. They went somewhere else this morning and returned, too. Breakfast? I'm not sure. I know Otter was glad to see Aidan and likes taking him places on Sundays.
He woke me up a couple of times this morning. He ran in the room and said "ta-da!!" or something like that and laughed about it. It was pretty cute.
It's overcast today so I slept a bit late. I have been up late the last two nights talking with my sweetie. Last night, Mary came over though to talk to me while I sorted through my things and cleaned up some, but I ended up getting her and him on the phone to discuss teaching and they talked for almost 3 hours. I did end up dusting some and sorting somethings while she talked to him, but towards the end I was getting ancy to talk to him too before it got too late and he'd go to sleep. Not jealous to talk to him, but ancy to spend time with him. I really want to see him soon and be in his arms. Things were very stressful this week, and things are better, but it's made me want to be with him more. Luckily, I will be seeing him soon- less than two weeks. Hopefully I won't burst into tears when I see him. Okay, try not to get nauseated. I don't want to have to send meds out across the country.
I think my hormones are messed up right now. Something is going on weird with my body. One- I've lost some more weight- good, but odd. Two- my chest hurts today- could be because of the weight loss? Less padding on the tumors? Or is it a cold I'm fighting? Three- I am crying at the drop of a hat. I kind of went thru menopause last summer though - complete with hot flashes and night sweats- and haven't had anything since then. So, it's just kind of weird. All I can hope is that maybe it means something is working on the inside with the chemo.
I called Alexis- she didn't buy a gift certificate yet for the movies, so I don't have to actually worry about doing that today- which is why I got dressed. She's just bringing cash. We also decided we would just order Chili's and pick it up. Mary was fine with Chili's as well- they have a black bean burger she likes. Aidan will probably go upstairs at 7- right when the show starts. I need to print out the categories for us to decide on, or figure out how we are going to do the scoring. Mary and I can't drink because of the meds we are on. Next year, we'll have to do a full-on party with drinks and appetizers or something. I love having parties.
Mary isn't bad, she just got a blood clot in her leg last month. It was caused by birth control. You know one of those 1 in 10,000 women develop this blah blah blah. So, now she'll be prone to them. I know birth control performs a necessary and good function, but I really wonder about the damage it can do. I still question if the shot wasn't what caused my cancer.
And what do you do if you are allergic to latex? I found out I was a little over a year ago. Um, that isn't good. I guess it's just the powder on the gloves- and maybe it's not on condoms. Well, I can't get pregnant now anyway, so it's not a big concern.
My sweetie asked me last night if I wanted more kids. I don't know. I'd have to have the right partner for it, and I wouldn't want the child to be much younger than Aidan. I certainly don't want to have another broken-up family, so I'd have to have full confidence in the relationship and in the person. Being that I can't physically have another child, I'm not devasted. I have a great son already, and I have a lot to be thankful for with him.


At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Latex condoms. More feeling, no latex alergys involved. Safer too!


At 9:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



Vinly condoms. There you have it.



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