Beru's Haven

Trying to live as normal a life while knowing I have cancer...

Monday, January 23, 2006

After the Rain...

there is sunshine out today. Bright blue skies.
I woke up this morning feeling fine.... no, not really, was just breaking into a Beach Boy's song there- help me! I felt kind of yucky... took a hot bath to help relieve some of the pain... then set out for the post office before I became a bad eBayer. Granted, the stuff sold late on Thursday, got payments on Friday for the most part, and I say 2 bus days for mailing- so today would be it, right? I sure hope so. Stupid people who paid on Friday wanted media mail- that's what slowed me down- 3 boxes of books sent media mail - takes 4-6 weeks!- so I had to find the boxes to ship them in- which luckily I had some... but it's the point! ;)
Anyway, so I grab my brown leather purse and head to the post office carrying a big box of, well, boxes... I get in there and decide to check and make sure I have my wallet, etc, etc... and wouldn't you know it? Nope... no checkbook either... I remember that I changed purses to go out on Saturday so I could just throw my pill bottles in there.... everything is at home... lug my boxes back out to the car, drive back home... get my wallet and my license- just in case- and head back... whew! ... smaller line at the post office this time at least.
I think it may all be a working plan in a way though, because the first time I went I realized I forgot my letter to Lisa. Lisa, if you go back in the blog, is my childhood friend who is like my sister and sent me a pretty metal bracelet when she first found out I was sick... Anyway, she moved to Florida after the hurricane- last I knew- and I was hoping to see her when I'm down there for vacation. So, this letter is to try and reach her, and now it's in the mail- where otherwise, if I had my wallet with me the first time- it wouldn't have been...
In writing to my friend, who's a big part of my support system, Micket, I think it's occured to me that the fatigue that I'm experiencing is actually due to my new chemo- and not the pain killers I'm on... I'm hating it, however... I think I'm going to take another nap... I tried drinking coffee yesterday, no use...
I came home today from my errand and my father was putting down the details of his funeral arrangements and told me it's probably best that my Aunt Ganeath take care of the arrangements since they are out of town and next to where my mother is buried. I told him that chances are that he'll bury me, rather than the other way around, but then I started thinking that I might be buried by myself and how sad that is in a way. I could be buried near my mom, however, I want to be somewhere that Aidan could visit... it's only a body though, I keep trying to tell myself... it's only a body...
*added the photo of the bracelet... and the nails... I was typing to Richard after I painted him and told him how much I loved this color red, I've used it for years now. It's called "I'm Not Really a Waitress", and I complimented two different people on the same shade before I broke down and bought my own bottle... I know a couple of women who have bought the same shade after seeing it on me, as well.... I just noticed I have a little bit on my cuticle- it's gone now... and I have that smudge on the middle one... oh well...

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